This FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) is meant to give you real answers to your very real questions and should in no way be considered "funny" "amusing" or "mildly chuckle worthy." Remember, there are no stupid questions, only stupid people who don't get what we're doing so feel free to write in and ask your stupid question and maybe we'll answer it.
What is Going on Here?
Calamity News writes news stories
as they are released by various news sources.
Why is Every Story Blown Out of Proportion?
We believe that Fear is the electricity for the news media, moving every cog in the machine with a desperate urgency that comes with the stress of constantly producing news every second of every day.The news services carry every crisis to the viewer's (or reader's) doorstep, persuasively telling a story with the audience as the target. Calamity News deflects this aggression by calling direct attention to the attack or by taking the story to a laughable extreme. According to television, print and internet news, everything will kill you, but we don't believe them.
Are These Real News Stories?
Yes, the links to the stories in each post are
real. Our re-reporting is not real, and is meant to be satirical.
Who Are Your Writers?
Our writers are college graduates who have fairly clean criminal records.
How Often Do You Post?
We average five to eight (5-8) posts per day.
Why Haven't You Posted Today?
Calamity News does not post on the weekends (no real news is released on the weekends) and the following nationally recognized holidays: New Year's Day, Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr. (Observed), President's Day (Observed), Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day. We may or may not write on the Eves of some of these holidays.
How Can We Contact You?
You can click on the poster's name to bring up their address in your default mail client, or compose your own using our special email formula: <poster's name>@calamitynews.com
Do You Want Story Suggestions?
No thank you. The Calamity News staff scours the feeds and popular news sources such as: CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, DrudgeReport, Catholic News Service, and our own
MyWay accounts (customizable news platform) for stories.
Where Are You Located?
Most of the staff are located in Los Angeles, CA. Stop by and visit!
Are You Serious?
Yes.
Can I Write For You?
If you really are interested in writing contact the editor (using the special email forumla) who will direct you to the test article page. We're looking for consistant writers and have no interest in half-assers.
